A Bigger Voice

Christmas Eve, 2008

It's 4pm, on Christmas Eve. I have candles burning brightly in my office and a poinsettia plant on my desk. For all living things, there is a time for renewal and rest, before sowing the seeds for the next harvest.
 
That's what we'll be doing here at A Bigger Voice, resting, before the year starts off anew. We'll take a break from publishing on this blog until after the New Year. Until then, may you enjoy the stillness and magic of the season, and keep listening to the passionate voice inside.

Photo by Per Ola Wiberg

Virtual vs. Real world - what's the real difference?

There's a myth around that the "virtual world" is somehow a different place from the real world we all live in.

Interestingly, it's a myth found only among those who haven't tried out social media and social networks. Once you dip your toe in the online conversation, you find that blogs, Facebook, Twitter - and on and on - are all elaborations on (not replacements of) the art of one human relating to another.

And often, you'll find that there's a strong desire to cross borders. Take the phenomenon of Tweetups for example. People in a local area, united only by their use of the social networking platform Twitter. It's a tenuous link, but one that causes people to search for other things in common.

We had one in Auckland, New Zealand, the other day. "Organizing" it was just a matter of me saying "Do we have time for one last Twitter meetup for 2008? Or is that just crazy talk?"

Over the next few hours people came back, enthusiastic to squeeze in a meeting, even with the silly season in full swing. Someone nominated a venue, which everyone else voted on, and then I promoted the tweetup through a blog post and through our Facebook group.

Photo of me with a Twitter friend
at the Auckland Tweetup

We had 13 people come along - not a huge amount of people, but not a small group either, especially not in a crowded pub!

What is it that motivates people to share a few hours with almost total strangers? The technology's only a small part of the equation. A bigger factor is the "almost" total stranger part - some level of trust and relationship has built up, and, being human, most people want to explore further, to put faces to the names, thoughts and avatars they see on screen.

It used to be that you could say where a community started and ended. But online social networking is blurring those lines. Is our Auckland Twitter meetup a genuine community? Hard to say. We know each other on a fairly intimate level, since we relay some of our innermost thoughts in those 140 characters. Would we stick up for each other when the chips are down? I hope we don't have to find out, but I get the feeling there's great potential within groups like this.

Humans at Work

The last year I worked for Ben & Jerry's Homemade, I was supervised by a woman who destroyed my faith in my skill, intelligence, and competence. She raged at fellow employees in front of me. She called me in to meetings and tore me apart, with the curtains open wide on the conference room so everyone who passed by could see her pacing and gesticulating, and see me white-faced and terrified. She left me without direction, and then reviled (and sometimes reversed) my decisions. Fortunately, I was already planning to leave the company, but she made my last six months a living hell. It took me several years to recover my confidence.

(This was not typical at Ben & Jerry's, by the way. For the first five years of my tenure, I had a manager who gave me enormous levels of support and helped me learn to be a good leader. Overall, I experienced Ben & Jerry's as taking care of the people who worked there in myriad ways. Rather than saying anything terrible about Ben & Jerry's, this story illustrates that even in the best companies, where people really are valued, bad leadership can destroy productivity and damage people.)

Through her new organization, Humans at Work, Kelley Eskridge wants to make this kind of behavior (and a whole host of less egregious but equally destructive ones) obsolete in business. For this, as well as for her remarkable fiction, she is one of my heroes.

I speak not only as a former employee struggling to maintain my sense of myself and do work I could be proud of in the face of bad management. As a young manager, I would have given anything for the training Eskridge is offering. With Eskridge, I believed that:

Work is a human thing, the product of human brains, human muscles, human spirits, human hearts. And so work, like the humans who do it, can be awkward and exciting and scary and sometimes messy. And it has the human potential for joy, if business would only make room for it.
(from A Leader's Manifesto)

In my twenties, I just didn't have the skills I needed to make it work that way. I was inconsistent. I sent mixed messages. I made arbitrary decisions. I got in the way of the work. Not on purpose, of course—I was always reaching toward a different way of managing. I always wanted to do a good job by the folks I worked with and by the work itself. In most cases, that vision saved me from being a terrible manager, but I could have done much better—and that knowledge weighed me down and made me less effective. I came by my skills the hard way, over years. Eskridge's expertise could have made the learning so much easier, and made me effective so much earlier.

Kelley Eskridge is a wisdom entrepreneur. She wants to make a big change in the world, a change that will outlast her. She has the wisdom and the capacity to make it happen. She has created a remarkable business model that makes her expertise available to businesses (in the form of a turnkey program that they can use as is or adapt) for free, as well as offering consulting for a price. From reading her fiction and her blog over years, I know that she is a community-builder at heart. I can't wait to see where Humans at Work goes.

You go, Kelley. We'll be watching, and cheering you on.

You Can't Shut Down a Community, Part 2

I was intrigued with an NPR report on how Obama's community of supporters are still active--with 10,000 house parties last weekend, organized by mybarackobama.com. It also made me curious about what happens when the goal of the original community is achieved--getting Obama elected--and there's no one clear question or goal afterwards for the community to rally around.

Rewind to this past summer and my posting titled, You Can't Shut Down a Community., written as the A Bigger Voice team and I were wrapping up a pilot with three clients. Our initial goal had been achieved--to do a pilot with real clients--as a way to understand the nature of A Bigger Voice and prove out the concept. The community of consultants wasn't ready to stop there. Hence the title of the post.

Since then, the goal for the A Bigger Voice Team has felt fuzzy, with no strong direction, other than to get this blog going as a group blog, as way to grow our community. I have to admit, this is one of those times when I feel like I'm floundering. I feel like I've gone down several paths, without much progress and with more questions than answers.  I woke up on Monday morning, several months after the pilot, without a clear game plan. I'm wondering how I got here.

As a coach, I know that these muddled places are where the right question can lead to new insights and if I'm lucky, a breakthrough. I'm bringing up my own personal experience, because I think it's part of the journey of A Bigger Voice. What am I assuming about communities that may be way off base?  What is the role of a leader in a community? What does it look like when a community has lost its way? 

It's no small feat to transform an idea into a sustainable movement. In fact, it's probably the single hardest thing I've ever tried to do. I'll be watching with interest as Obama's community moves into the next phase of sustaining the movement.

Superman, Gremlins and Phone Booths: Kryptonite to your Bigger Voice?

This morning, as I was working on a new business idea that popped into my brain over the weekend, I found myself thinking about Clark Kent, Superman and what it takes to have a bigger voice. I noticed there is a BIG SPACE between my ideas and my actions, and what happens in that space plays a huge role in determining how big my voice can be.

Photo by Scott Feldstein

Superpowers... of hesitation?

I often feel like Clark Kent seeing some bad guys robbing a bank, but instead of jumping into a phone booth without hesitation (Phone booth? What would he do today?) and flying out in my funky superman suit, there’s a space... and I fill that space with: “I can’t do it”, “What if I fail?” “That’s a stupid idea," “No one will care,” “I don’t know how."

Did Superman ever have days like this? Do you?

Meanwhile the phone booth is getting hot so I leave without unveiling that damn suit and blasting off to fight for “truth, justice and the American way." Another idea DOA. This is clearly a place where I need to focus some attention.

Yes, I hear voices. You probably do too.

Photo by Ron Marshall

When I plumb the depths of my soul (scary place!), I realize much of what fills the space between my ideas and actions are my fears and insecurities. Thoughts like “You're not smart enough,” or “People will laugh at you if you do that.” (and on and on and on).

Do you hear those voices too? Please tell me that it isn’t just me.

Other voices raise seemingly real and rational limitations like “I don’t know how,” “I don’t have the time or money,” or “I’ve never spoken in front of a group before.” But are these real limitations? Could I find a way around them if I really wanted to?

Self, meet Gremlin. You'll be seeing a lot of each other.

In the coaching world we call these voices and self-limiting thoughts “gremlins.” Their power to sap your strength is like Kryptonite to Superman. Based on an informal poll among life coaches I know and on my experience as a life coach, I estimate that what happens in the space between our ideas and actions may account for more than half of the failures among folks who want to have a bigger voice.

As you’re reading this you might be saying to yourself, “I’m already well into my Bigger Voice project so this gremlin stuff doesn’t apply to me.” Think again. These self-limiting thoughts don’t just kill new ideas; they can overtake you in the middle of your quest for a bigger voice and convince you that it’s time to throw in the towel.

Imagine that you hit a little rough patch in your efforts. Maybe you’re feeling a little stuck. Maybe your community isn’t growing as fast as you would like. Maybe you’re having trouble rallying resources for your cause, or monetizing your idea is a bit more difficult than you thought.

Got the picture?

Photo by Dunechaser

Now hear the gremlin voices of doubt creep in: “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all. Who am I to think that I could pull this off? Maybe I should give this up and go back to my old job. At least I know how to do that!” They can strike at any time and they are all part of your journey to A Bigger Voice, so you might as well prepare yourself.

So what can you do to improve your odds of success?

• Tune in: The first and most important thing to do is listen carefully to those voices. Think about that Bigger Voice project that you’ve been dreaming of. Do you hear the voices of insecurity, fear and limitations? What are those voices saying? How do you feel when you hear them? Do you believe them?
• Learn to recognize your own gremlins. Most people have their own special gremlins. Learn to recognize yours. Look for themes. Do certain fears and limitations keep coming up? Those are your gremlins at work.
• Put a moratorium on killing your ideas. I tried this recently and it worked wonders. Usually when I come up with a big, bold, exciting idea my gremlins rush in to the space and kill it immediately. So I’ve put a moratorium on killing tender, fragile, cute little kitten ideas by putting them in the incubator.
  For example, I had an interesting idea last week and immediately the gremlins rushed in like antibodies attacking a virus. Instead of letting the idea die right there, I thanked the gremlins for their input and mentally put the idea in the incubator. Once there I journaled about it, wrote up a one-page concept statement and shared it with friends. They liked it and gave me lots of good ideas on how to improve it. Once the idea gets strong enough I’ll take it out of the incubator and let it stand on its own.
• Stay when it gets hard. When things get shaky, hang in there. It is often your gremlins talking. Stay and take one more step.



Photo by Just Only Steve

• Ask for help. Maybe it’s a guy thing, but I usually don’t ask for help (or directions). I want to go it alone. But lately, based on some sage advice, I’ve been asking for help early and often. What a difference it makes. I don’t spin my wheels and get crushed under the weight of my own self doubt.
• Check out a couple good books. If you want to find out more check out “Feel The Fear… And Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers and Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson.

What's keeping you in YOUR phone booth?

So I’m wondering, when you feel compelled to jump into that phone booth and come out fighting for truth, justice and the American way, what are your biggest gremlins that fill the space? And what do you do to combat their kryptonite?

Tribes

I just finished the book, Tribes, by Seth Godin. It's a quick read with lots of stories to illustrate the finer points of leadership and community-building. Here's just one nugget that resonated with me, on the Anatomy of a Movement:

"Senator Bill Bradley defines a movement as having three elements:

1. A narrative that tells a story about who we are and the future we are trying to build.
2. A connection between and among the leader and the tribe
3. Something to do--the fewer limits, the better.

Too often organizations fail to do anything but the third."

Isn't that the truth!

Telling the story about who we are is easy to overlook. When I run into social entrepreneurs or other innovators with a cause, it's one of the first things I look for on their website. I'm often disappointed. If I want to join your cause, I first want to know who you are and why you are so passionate about your cause.

People have told me that I'm visionary but I have trouble sometimes articulating the future I'm trying to build. I get can lost in the nuts and bolts.

Re: connection between and among the leader and the tribe.  This can be one of the hardest things to engender as the leader. A many-to-many conversation can ignite a blog posting, yet remain elusive without the right combination of an engaging topic, enough space for others to jump in, and an environment of valuing all the voices.

As Simon once said, do you have a movement, or just an idea?  An updated twist based on the above:

"Do you have a movement or just a lot of activity?"

Taking the Work out of Networking

Many of our current networking experts point out that within the word “networking” lies another word: “work.” Personally, I think of “networking” as “making friends.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve never thought of making friends as work.

Here are a few of the things I do to have fun. Why not try out one of them?

1. Decide to play a game to make an event more interesting.
   For example, last month at a party I challenged myself to see if I could meet anyone who knows someone who grew up in Buffalo, to help out clients of ours with promotion of their upcoming book. Two people said they’d be glad to forward an email message from me to their Buffalo-bred friends when Buffalo, Home of the Braves is released.


2. Go to local fairs just to mingle and meet, to listen and learn, and maybe make a new friend.
   The last time I went to a wellness fair, I got my aura cleansed by a shaman. (Keep that open mind!) I also got a mini-massage from a talented massage therapist. I later connected her to another massage therapist, as I think they both may benefit from sharing space.


3. Carry two business card holders, one labeled “Inbox” and the other “Outbox.” (Or carry a "Give and Take Card Box" made just for this purpose!)
   When people ask for a recommendation, you can have your favorite resources ready to share. In the last two weeks, I was able to hand over business cards for a contractor, a chiropractor and a local spa, at the moment I was asked.

Photo by Journeys Coffee

Doing these things is natural and fun for me, not work. Work would be making a list of everyone I know (don’t forget people from where you worship, and parents of your children’s friends!) and add them into a database with a tailored plan to stay in touch for the ultimate benefit of moi…or moi’s business.

Even though 'networking' often sounds like a chore, you're probably networking every day in ways you don't even realize. For example, did your best friend ask you where to get her haircut? Have you recommended your gym to a co-worker? Did anyone ever ask you if you know a good financial planner, insurance agent, attorney...or shaman?

That's your network, and you haven't even had to increase your workload to develop it! You’ve just made a mental note that it’s there. But you could start doing any of the above, just for fun.

To help get a clearer idea of the 'natural networking' you're already doing, consider: With whom do you talk? Whom do you help? How do you connect?

See a Kindle in Your City

In Fast Company magazine, Robert Scoble reports on the use of passionate early adopters to broaden the base of consumers for technology, including teens introducing their parents to Facebook. Scoble also talks about a "See a Kindle in Your City program that lets you find a Kindle user near you and arrange for the passionate to show the nonpassionate what it can do." Kindle is Amazon's e-book reader which sold nearly a quarter of a million units in its first nine months.

What's interesting is that more than creating consumers of Kindle, I see this program as a way to grow a community, one person at a time.  It pairs up an evangelist with a newbie, around a shared intereset. What could the ABV community look like if we had a program to pair up a digital immigrant with a digital native, around a shared interest in developing as wisdom entrepreneurs? Yowza.